...except after "C"

There is a whole string of jokes that could follow this, including:

• If you don't think the service is over until the end of the 7th verse of "Just As I Am," you might be a baptist.
• If someone says "Amen" in church and you look around to find the charismatic, you might be a baptist.
• If you've ever said, "The King James version was good enough for the Apostle Paul," you might be a baptist.
• If you clapped in church last Sunday and still feel guilty about it today, you might be a baptist.
• If you believe the founder of your denomination was an itinerant wilderness preacher named John, you might be a baptist.
• If you are very sure that the so-called "wine" in the Bible was unfermented grape juice, you might be a baptist.
• If someone says the word "fellowship" and you think "pot-luck," you might be a baptist.
• If you can't recall any of the words to the third verse of any hymn, you might be a baptist.
• If you've found that the last three rows have the most comfortable pews in the church, you might be a baptist.
• If you've ever said, "We've never done it that way before," you might be a baptist.

... but what's sad is that it seems no one really knows what a baptist is anymore. What follows is the top three that I could muster about what sets baptist doctrine apart:

1. The ultimate authority in life and godliness as Scripture (not traditions).
   (2 Tim 3:16-17, 2 Pet 1:3-4)
2. Baptism by immersion as a mandate for adult believers (not babies).
   (Matt 28:19-20; Acts 2:36-41)
3. The local church as autonomous (not subject to higher authority).
   (Matt 18:18-20; Acts 14:23)

It is interesting to note that until recently (the latter half of the last century) very few creeds and confessions in the baptist faith mentioned anything about democracy as a governing principle for a congregation. Instead, many historic baptist writings refer specifically to rule by elders and pastors from within, as opposed to answering to a synod, council or other external ruling body. I'm not sure when or why this changed.

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